This story is a sign of the times.
In years gone by, I have been guilty of playing a similar game. I didn't get caught (I didn't venture too far). There was a story floating around years ago, that a few Met Officers were stranded at Calais, when the weather turned bad (before the Channel Tunnel).
Back then, undoubtedly, they would have been disciplined. But it wouldn't need the IPCC to do it. I don't know the circumstances of this, but I guess that the force in question self referred the matter to the IPCC, rather than dealing with it themselves. Why? Is the result any different? I doubt it. Just another copout by the top brass.
Next time you do it boys and girls, use a plain car and make sure you have breakdown cover!
Wednesday, 27 February 2008
Tuesday, 26 February 2008
I know I shouldn't, but.....
I remember when I joined this job, someone saying, “be prepared for the unexpected”.
It was just gone 1am on a cool Autum night, when we had a call to attend a domestic burglary. “Bastards”, I thought. It’s bad enough being burgled during the day, but at night time, it can be traumatic, to even the strongest person.
We arrived at the scene within minutes. It was a semi-detached bungalow. We had a quick check around the garden but nothing untoward. I knocked on the door. It was answered by an elderly man.
“Hello. It’s the Police Ethel” he said, whilst looking over his shoulder towards the living room.
“Well, let them in then” said a female voice.
“Hello” I said, “We’ve come about the burglary”.
“Eh”.
“Did you phone us about a burglary?” I asked.
“Yes, that’s right”.
We were shown into the living room, where an elderly lady was sat, knitting away, with a cat curled up by her feet. It had the ‘normal’ smells of an old person’s house! Nothing appeared disturbed.
“What’s been taken?” I asked.
“Clothes” replied the old man.
That’s unusual, I thought. “Where from?”
The man shuffled into the hallway and pointed to the loft hatch.
“How did they get in there?” I asked.
“I’ll show you” he replied and shuffled outside into the rear garden.
It was pitch dark outside. The old man pointed to the roof and said “There”. I shone my torch but the roof was as it should be.
“Where” I said.
“There. Between the gaps in the tiles” he said. I stifled a giggle.
We went back inside. I pretended to write something in my pocket book, desperately avoiding eye contact with my colleague.
“I know who did it” said the old man. “It was Danny Jarvis”. This was a name of a local thief.
“Oh yes” I said, “What makes you think it was him?”
“I’m psychic” he replied.
That was it. I could control myself no longer. I began to giggle. I made my excuses and went outside. I started to laugh uncontrollably, with tears streaming down my face. Not very professional, I know but I couldn’t help myself.
Fair play, to my colleague. He managed to get sufficient details from the couple, for us to make a report to Social Services.
It was just gone 1am on a cool Autum night, when we had a call to attend a domestic burglary. “Bastards”, I thought. It’s bad enough being burgled during the day, but at night time, it can be traumatic, to even the strongest person.
We arrived at the scene within minutes. It was a semi-detached bungalow. We had a quick check around the garden but nothing untoward. I knocked on the door. It was answered by an elderly man.
“Hello. It’s the Police Ethel” he said, whilst looking over his shoulder towards the living room.
“Well, let them in then” said a female voice.
“Hello” I said, “We’ve come about the burglary”.
“Eh”.
“Did you phone us about a burglary?” I asked.
“Yes, that’s right”.
We were shown into the living room, where an elderly lady was sat, knitting away, with a cat curled up by her feet. It had the ‘normal’ smells of an old person’s house! Nothing appeared disturbed.
“What’s been taken?” I asked.
“Clothes” replied the old man.
That’s unusual, I thought. “Where from?”
The man shuffled into the hallway and pointed to the loft hatch.
“How did they get in there?” I asked.
“I’ll show you” he replied and shuffled outside into the rear garden.
It was pitch dark outside. The old man pointed to the roof and said “There”. I shone my torch but the roof was as it should be.
“Where” I said.
“There. Between the gaps in the tiles” he said. I stifled a giggle.
We went back inside. I pretended to write something in my pocket book, desperately avoiding eye contact with my colleague.
“I know who did it” said the old man. “It was Danny Jarvis”. This was a name of a local thief.
“Oh yes” I said, “What makes you think it was him?”
“I’m psychic” he replied.
That was it. I could control myself no longer. I began to giggle. I made my excuses and went outside. I started to laugh uncontrollably, with tears streaming down my face. Not very professional, I know but I couldn’t help myself.
Fair play, to my colleague. He managed to get sufficient details from the couple, for us to make a report to Social Services.
Monday, 25 February 2008
Court Bail
Apparently, things have got so bad in the ministry of justice, that there is little chance of being remanded in custody, even on a murder charge!
I have lost count recently, how many of our Prolific Priority Offenders have been granted bail by the courts. If these people can get bail, then there is no hope.
Some might argue, that these people should be granted freedom, but have restrictions placed upon their lives. Uhm, let me think about that for a minute. No.
The problem is, they are given bail conditions, usually not to go to certain places and to live at a certain address and remain indoors at night. The first problem, we usually encounter, is that the nasty policemen have a habit of knocking on their door's after midnight to check they are in. Despite requests to the contrary, the magistrates often fail to put a duty to answer the door, upon the suspect. Hence, there is no way of knowing if the little darling is in or out, if he doesn't want to answer his door!
Eventually, they are usually caught breaching one or all of their bail conditions and are arrested and taken back to court. Now, any sensible person would think, if they were given a chance to stay free, but chose to break the rules, then they should no longer have the chance. Yes? Er, no. The little darlings are told off for breaking the rules of the game, but given a third chance and released again with the same conditions. When they are caught the very same day breaking those conditions, that gives the court a real problem. We can't keep releasing this person, only to have him back in front of us within hours. He obviously can't abide by his conditions, so we only have one alternative. Yes, that's right, send him to prison. Well, er, not quite. You see there's no space. No, we think it best if we remove his bail conditions, because he'll only break them again, and you'll end up arresting him and bringing him back here. The best solution in the long run. Save the court time, save the Police time and help unclog the prisons!
If only it was a joke!
I have lost count recently, how many of our Prolific Priority Offenders have been granted bail by the courts. If these people can get bail, then there is no hope.
Some might argue, that these people should be granted freedom, but have restrictions placed upon their lives. Uhm, let me think about that for a minute. No.
The problem is, they are given bail conditions, usually not to go to certain places and to live at a certain address and remain indoors at night. The first problem, we usually encounter, is that the nasty policemen have a habit of knocking on their door's after midnight to check they are in. Despite requests to the contrary, the magistrates often fail to put a duty to answer the door, upon the suspect. Hence, there is no way of knowing if the little darling is in or out, if he doesn't want to answer his door!
Eventually, they are usually caught breaching one or all of their bail conditions and are arrested and taken back to court. Now, any sensible person would think, if they were given a chance to stay free, but chose to break the rules, then they should no longer have the chance. Yes? Er, no. The little darlings are told off for breaking the rules of the game, but given a third chance and released again with the same conditions. When they are caught the very same day breaking those conditions, that gives the court a real problem. We can't keep releasing this person, only to have him back in front of us within hours. He obviously can't abide by his conditions, so we only have one alternative. Yes, that's right, send him to prison. Well, er, not quite. You see there's no space. No, we think it best if we remove his bail conditions, because he'll only break them again, and you'll end up arresting him and bringing him back here. The best solution in the long run. Save the court time, save the Police time and help unclog the prisons!
If only it was a joke!
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Interviews
I'll be honest, I'm not the greatest interviewer in the world. That's mainly because I only ever get to interview muppets who have committed petty crimes, that are not going to result in Crown Court Trials. I can't be bothered to use the 'peace' model. Why waste time going around the houses. A simple "did you do it?", will normally get the desired cough!
The only advantage of interviewing some of these pondlife, is that you can usually guarantee they will say something hilarious.
A couple of examples:
1)
" I need to ask you some questions about an allegation of theft".
"I aint saying nuffing til I spoke to my lawyer."
"O.K. Who is your solicitor?"
"No Comment."
" I understand you do not want to say anything, but can you tell me your solicitors name, so I can call him for you?"
"No Comment"
"No you don't understand, this is not an interview. Just tell me which solicitor you want to speak to."
"No Comment."
"Are you refusing to tell me?"
"No Comment."
It carried on like this for a while, before I got bored. I had to get the Inspector to penetrate his thick skull. He didn't have a brief and went for the duty!
2)
I was interviewing another member of MENSA one day. He was answering every question with"No Comment". I continued to ask him questions covering all the salient points, when he got bored and came out with a classic line.
"Can I just say, I will be pleading guilty, even though I'm going no comment!"
"Why are you going No Comment, then?"
"It saves time!"
If the court ever listened to the tape, they could hear me struggle to maintain my composure!
The only advantage of interviewing some of these pondlife, is that you can usually guarantee they will say something hilarious.
A couple of examples:
1)
" I need to ask you some questions about an allegation of theft".
"I aint saying nuffing til I spoke to my lawyer."
"O.K. Who is your solicitor?"
"No Comment."
" I understand you do not want to say anything, but can you tell me your solicitors name, so I can call him for you?"
"No Comment"
"No you don't understand, this is not an interview. Just tell me which solicitor you want to speak to."
"No Comment."
"Are you refusing to tell me?"
"No Comment."
It carried on like this for a while, before I got bored. I had to get the Inspector to penetrate his thick skull. He didn't have a brief and went for the duty!
2)
I was interviewing another member of MENSA one day. He was answering every question with"No Comment". I continued to ask him questions covering all the salient points, when he got bored and came out with a classic line.
"Can I just say, I will be pleading guilty, even though I'm going no comment!"
"Why are you going No Comment, then?"
"It saves time!"
If the court ever listened to the tape, they could hear me struggle to maintain my composure!
Saturday, 23 February 2008
Thursday, 21 February 2008
Discretion
My mind drifted back to my days in Police Training School, the other day. I remember struggling to learn all my powers. I mentioned it to the instructor. He gave me a sound piece of advice. He said, "Just remember, that the greatest power you have, is the power of discretion." He also said, that arrest should be a last resort, because you are taking someone's liberty away from them.
Oh, how times have changed. Discretion is banned word nowadays. I am not allowed to use my discretion anymore. I'll give you an example.
Your at home with your wife/husband one evening, when you have a loud argument. Nothing serious or violent, just the way your two personalities deal with disagreements. Unfortunately, a plate gets accidentally broken during the shouting. However, a neighbour can hear the shouting and smashing and phones the Police, to complain about the noise. The call taker asks the neighbour what the problem is and he tells the call taker that you two are shouting and making too much noise and he heard the sound of smashing. The call taker asks who is in the house and the neighbour says that it is a man and a woman. The call taker then creates a log, with the immortal description of 'Domestic Disturbance'. Police will be directed to attend.
Now, in the good old days, I would have attended and spoken to you and your partner. If I was satisfied that it was nothing more than an argument, I would have given words of advice and left it at that.
Nowadays, as soon as the 'D' word has been used, then all discretion goes out of the window. You see, every Police Force in the land, has a positive action policy when it comes to dealing with domestics. What that means, is, the attending officer has got to justify why they have not arrested anyone. Yes, that's right, justification for not arresting! So, I would turn up at your house, with the intention of arresting someone. You and your partner will tell me that nothing has gone on. I will see the smashed crockery on the floor. I then decide that a breach of the peace has occurred and I arrest one of you (normally the man). I will also have to ask you some very personal questions, in order to complete a risk assessment. I will then visit the neighbour to find out more from them.
You or partner will then be taken to the Police Station and put in the cells. I will research your history to see if there is sufficient evidence to put you before a court for a bind over to keep the peace. If there is (which in this case there isn't) you will be kept in custody to attend the next available court. Alternatively, you will be released from custody once we are satisfied a breach of the peace is no longer likely to occurr.
You will return home, very resentful and having no respect for the Police. I will have completed a mountain of paperwork, for fu*k all and the domestic violence statistics will have risen again.
Will I have prevented a potential domestic murder? I doubt it. Will I have made you or your partner think twice before answering the door to the Police again. Most likely.
Oh, how times have changed. Discretion is banned word nowadays. I am not allowed to use my discretion anymore. I'll give you an example.
Your at home with your wife/husband one evening, when you have a loud argument. Nothing serious or violent, just the way your two personalities deal with disagreements. Unfortunately, a plate gets accidentally broken during the shouting. However, a neighbour can hear the shouting and smashing and phones the Police, to complain about the noise. The call taker asks the neighbour what the problem is and he tells the call taker that you two are shouting and making too much noise and he heard the sound of smashing. The call taker asks who is in the house and the neighbour says that it is a man and a woman. The call taker then creates a log, with the immortal description of 'Domestic Disturbance'. Police will be directed to attend.
Now, in the good old days, I would have attended and spoken to you and your partner. If I was satisfied that it was nothing more than an argument, I would have given words of advice and left it at that.
Nowadays, as soon as the 'D' word has been used, then all discretion goes out of the window. You see, every Police Force in the land, has a positive action policy when it comes to dealing with domestics. What that means, is, the attending officer has got to justify why they have not arrested anyone. Yes, that's right, justification for not arresting! So, I would turn up at your house, with the intention of arresting someone. You and your partner will tell me that nothing has gone on. I will see the smashed crockery on the floor. I then decide that a breach of the peace has occurred and I arrest one of you (normally the man). I will also have to ask you some very personal questions, in order to complete a risk assessment. I will then visit the neighbour to find out more from them.
You or partner will then be taken to the Police Station and put in the cells. I will research your history to see if there is sufficient evidence to put you before a court for a bind over to keep the peace. If there is (which in this case there isn't) you will be kept in custody to attend the next available court. Alternatively, you will be released from custody once we are satisfied a breach of the peace is no longer likely to occurr.
You will return home, very resentful and having no respect for the Police. I will have completed a mountain of paperwork, for fu*k all and the domestic violence statistics will have risen again.
Will I have prevented a potential domestic murder? I doubt it. Will I have made you or your partner think twice before answering the door to the Police again. Most likely.
Wednesday, 20 February 2008
I want to play with it!
Have you ever noticed how some officers get very excited about the Police vehicles they drive?
I have known some, to arrive for work half an hour early, just so they can get the keys to their favourite car. Some will even hide the keys or take them home, so no one else can drive their motor!
How pathetic. Are they that pedantic about their 'own' computer or printer? I doubt it. Come on people, its a piece of kit. Certainly not worth fighting over!
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