The views expressed in this blog are mine, all mine and don't necessarily reflect those of the Police Service!
I hope that you wont be offended by anything I say, because no offence was intended.

Friday, 30 May 2008

Well Done Civitas...

Civitas (not sure who/what they are) say that the Police are targetting trivial crime.

At last, someone has seen the light. The only problem is, most people are going to think it is the officers on the ground, who are leading this charge. There might be some, but all I can say, is that the vast majority of us, would much rather be doing some 'proper' police work, instead of investigating trivial nonesense.

There are two sets of people to blame for this. Firstly, the modern generation, who will report all manner of trivial nonesense to the police. I have a cunning plan to put a stop to this. All citizens, should be entitled to 3 free call outs in any one year. After that, they should have to pay for the police/ambulance/fire/doctor/social services time. In the Police's case, if the person's call results in the conviction at court of an individual, then they will be entitled to a refund, otherwise £60 a call out and £30 for every half hour spent dealing/investigating. That would stop most of our regulars wasting our time!

The other set of people are the government and ACPO. Since this govt, introduced the ethical crime recording standards, in it's relentless quest for meaningless statistics, then the police are duty bound to record all the trivial nonsense that the first group report. The problem then arises, with ACPO. They too, love statistics, the most important of which, is the detection rate. They don't like having undetected crimes on their books. So, if you have to record trivial nonsense, then you will need to investigate and 'detect' it. Hence, why it appears that the bobby on the beat, is chasing easy detections.

I don't think we can do much about the first group, well, not in the short term anyway. However, we can do something about the second. Either, scrap 'ethical crime recording' and go back to allowing officers to decide if a crime has been committed; or, record the trivial nonsense, but in a different category to 'proper' crime, and don't waste time investigating and trying to detect it.

NEW LABOUR - Tough on crime figures, tough on the users of common sense!

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Mixed Messages

It seems that the Ministry of Justice and Commisioner of the MET, don't talk to each other.
Whilst the MOJ, are releasing convicted criminals, in order to free up some space, Sir Ian BLAIR is calling for tougher sentences!

The thing that makes me laugh, is that Blair thinks PCSO's will be able to prevent witness intimidation! How exactly? It's not their fault, but with no real powers, what's the difference between a PCSO and a Court Usher, trying to keep order in court?

It seems to me that this government is like a pissed up chav on a Saturday night. It's stumbling along, in several directions at once. It has no real idea where its going or how its going to get there, but it sure as hell, thinks it knows best!

Saturday, 24 May 2008


We've known for years about Government Spin Doctors, but it now seems that Police Leaders have caught the bug.
I know in my force, the attitude is "How does it look?" instead of "Is it any good?"
We have even been told by ACPO to go out and tell the public everything is great. The trouble is, most of us aren't politicians and couldn't care less about positive spin.
I was proud to be a Police Officer but I'm not so sure nowadays. No amount of spin is going to convince the public, that crime is down and they live in safe communities. I'm certainly not going to ignore the fact that we generally provide a poor service to the most deserved. I will continue to do my best and apologise for poor management.

Thursday, 22 May 2008


So, its finally been confirmed. The CPS are useless at looking after all your carefully prepared files.

Most of us have known that for some time. I've lost count of the number of times they have lost various forms and even the odd whole file. We are supposed to be going paper free soon. No doubt they'll crash a few computers, when that happens.

We have got to a stage now, where officers are attending court, just to make sure that the CPS Lawyer's ask for the right conditions/present the facts correctly.

I have even had a case thrown out at court, because the CPS Prosecutor 'forgot' to turn up!

I have often suspected that any solicitor whose any good, will be doing defence work, leaving the CPS the flotsam and jetsom.

I have met some good prosecutors in the past. Unfortunately, these people have all left and been replaced by useless to55ers.
Its about time someone sorted the CPS out. They will quickly criticise the Police if we fail to collect all the evidence, but what's the point if they go and loose it?

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

Industrial Rights

Jacqui Smith, you have been warned.......

None of us want to go on strike, but you are forcing us to take a stance. You can easily sort the problem out.


Sunday, 18 May 2008


I made a decision many years ago, that I was not interested in going for promotion. The reason being, I can't be bothered to jump through all the hoops, to climb the greasy pole. Its not that I'm not capable. Without blowing my own trumpet, I could do most middle mangaement jobs with my hands tied behind my back. Let's face it, they're not difficult roles!

In my force, there has been a culture of management by fear. Those who want to rise through the ranks, are soon informed that they have to tow the party line if they want promotion. An example of this, was an officer acting up to inspector. He went to BCU management meeting. One of the items on the agenda, was an idea from a lowly Pc, that a spare day in the 10 week shift pattern, could be used as a team building day, for the individual response teams. This idea was soon poo pooed by all present and they moved onto the next item on the agenda. This was the Senior Management's team building day at a local hotel. All those concerned said they were looking forward to it. Our acting Inspector then spoke up and asked the group if it was prudent to have a team building day for senior management but refuse one for the lower ranks. A few other sheep then nodded in agreement, but the superintendent over ruled them and the motion was passed. At the end of the meeting, our A/Insp was pulled to one side by the Superintendent and told in no uncertain terms to wind his neck in and never pour scorn over one of the Super's ideas again, or he would never get promoted.

Now, I am a man of principles and I am not prepared to sit on one of these meetings telling the emperor his clothes look fine. I therfore realise I would be wasting my time trying to get promoted. So when I hear Chief Constable's saying VMO's face a hard task getting promoted, I wonder if that's because they are more outspoken!
I don't think we need to change the promotion system for VMO's. We need to get rid of this culture of 'rank assumes knowledge'. We should be encouraging people to challenge stupid ideas, if we want innovative leaders.

Tuesday, 13 May 2008


For years now, the civil liberties lot have been worrying about the proliferation of CCTV cameras, throughout Britain. Recently, DCI Neville of the yard, has poured scorn over these fears.

I don't know much about criminology, but I do investigate crime. I think people need to understand the limitations of CCTV. It is only any use, if it is being monitored by operators and recorded in real time. Sticking a camera on the side of your building, with a 24 hour tape in it, is a total waste of money. If I had a £1 for every crime I investigate, where a civvy crime recorder has instructed me to check CCTV. I'm sorry, but seeing a shadowy figure in the distance is not going to assist me whatsoever, in identifying an offender.

You have got to ask, "Is it worth the officer's time to trawl through hours and hours of CCTV?" I'll be honest, in most cases it isn't. A lot of it depends on the camera system, but generally time- lapse cameras are a waste of space. A correctly positioned camera, not too panned out and with good lighting, should be worth looking at. Anything else, forget it.

So, Mrs Olympic medal winner. I can guarantee, even if the Met do look at the CCTV, they wont find anything of any use.

Thursday, 8 May 2008

That'll learn em....

Jacqui Smith has announced a new way to stop anti-social behaviour by crowds of yobs. Apparently, all you've got to do is film them!

Yeah right! As if that's going to stop them. All our lot do, when we point a camera in their direction, is pull their hoodies over their heads!

When is she going to 'announce' something that is actually going to help tackle ASB?

How about giving parents back the right to 'smack' their children for a start. I was doing a Section 18 search in a 17 year olds house today, when his father returned. He was a well built bloke, with his own building business. I was expecting the usual "stop picking on my Timmy, you lot are always hassling him" type of conversation. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised. He was at his wits end with his son. He told me that he wanted to give him a 'bloody good hiding', but was reluctant to do so, for fear of getting a criminal record.
Now some liberals out there will argue that corporal punishment is not the answer. They may be right in some cases, who knows? However, why take away a parents right to make informed decisions?

In my opinion, a few more beatings, would sort out, a lot of our gobby little sh*ts!

Monday, 5 May 2008

Sudden Death

Have you noticed how many more sudden deaths we are attending nowadays? Every person that dies, has to have a death certificate. This can be done by a GP, if they are certain what the person died of. If not, then the coroner will hold an autopsy. The Police are called out, to act for the coroner, and remove the deceased to the mortuary.

Ever since Harold Shipman, I have been called to far more. It is quite common to get called out to people with a diagnosed terminal illness, who have gone home to die in dignity. Whilst I always try to be as respectful as possible, there is always some resentment that we do things 'our' way.

Now apparently, research has suggested that it would be hard to detect another Shipman.
What a load of old tosh. Even if, you can get a doctor to attend a sudden death, you can guarantee, it wont be the deceased's own GP. No, most of them have opted out of making out of hours home visits (most of the deaths I attend are outside office hours!), leaving the emergency services to pick up the slack. In the unlikely event you do get the GP, they are usually reluctant to sign a death certificate.

So, if you want to see if there is another Shipman out there, just look to see which GP is signing death certificates, 'out of hours'!