Court Bail

Apparently, things have got so bad in the ministry of justice, that there is little chance of being remanded in custody, even on a murder charge!

I have lost count recently, how many of our Prolific Priority Offenders have been granted bail by the courts. If these people can get bail, then there is no hope.

Some might argue, that these people should be granted freedom, but have restrictions placed upon their lives. Uhm, let me think about that for a minute. No.

The problem is, they are given bail conditions, usually not to go to certain places and to live at a certain address and remain indoors at night. The first problem, we usually encounter, is that the nasty policemen have a habit of knocking on their door's after midnight to check they are in. Despite requests to the contrary, the magistrates often fail to put a duty to answer the door, upon the suspect. Hence, there is no way of knowing if the little darling is in or out, if he doesn't want to answer his door!
Eventually, they are usually caught breaching one or all of their bail conditions and are arrested and taken back to court. Now, any sensible person would think, if they were given a chance to stay free, but chose to break the rules, then they should no longer have the chance. Yes? Er, no. The little darlings are told off for breaking the rules of the game, but given a third chance and released again with the same conditions. When they are caught the very same day breaking those conditions, that gives the court a real problem. We can't keep releasing this person, only to have him back in front of us within hours. He obviously can't abide by his conditions, so we only have one alternative. Yes, that's right, send him to prison. Well, er, not quite. You see there's no space. No, we think it best if we remove his bail conditions, because he'll only break them again, and you'll end up arresting him and bringing him back here. The best solution in the long run. Save the court time, save the Police time and help unclog the prisons!

If only it was a joke!