Interviews

I'll be honest, I'm not the greatest interviewer in the world. That's mainly because I only ever get to interview muppets who have committed petty crimes, that are not going to result in Crown Court Trials. I can't be bothered to use the 'peace' model. Why waste time going around the houses. A simple "did you do it?", will normally get the desired cough!
The only advantage of interviewing some of these pondlife, is that you can usually guarantee they will say something hilarious.
A couple of examples:
1)
" I need to ask you some questions about an allegation of theft".
"I aint saying nuffing til I spoke to my lawyer."
"O.K. Who is your solicitor?"
"No Comment."
" I understand you do not want to say anything, but can you tell me your solicitors name, so I can call him for you?"
"No Comment"
"No you don't understand, this is not an interview. Just tell me which solicitor you want to speak to."
"No Comment."
"Are you refusing to tell me?"
"No Comment."

It carried on like this for a while, before I got bored. I had to get the Inspector to penetrate his thick skull. He didn't have a brief and went for the duty!

2)
I was interviewing another member of MENSA one day. He was answering every question with"No Comment". I continued to ask him questions covering all the salient points, when he got bored and came out with a classic line.
"Can I just say, I will be pleading guilty, even though I'm going no comment!"
"Why are you going No Comment, then?"
"It saves time!"

If the court ever listened to the tape, they could hear me struggle to maintain my composure!