I think some of the local chavs think the Police have a loyalty scheme, judging by the number of calls they make to us! Well, I'm sorry, but we wont be offering any air miles or coupons, even if you do make a dozen calls in as many days!
On the contrary, I think we should operate something similar to the breakdown companies, no-call discounts. We could say that everyone is entitled to 3 free 999 calls a year. After that, they have to start paying for investigations. That would put a stop to some of the childish nonesense, that gets reported to us, day in, day out.
"Yes sir, we will send an officer out to you. That will be £50 call out fee, £30 for the first half an hour, then £20 for every half an hour spent investigating the matter, after that! If you keep every appointment, including appearing at court as a witness, you will be entitled to a 75% discount."
I think that's fair. Hopefully, it would cut out the crap, leaving us more time to investigate proper crime!
If not then we could always resort to this
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The views expressed in this blog are mine, all mine and don't necessarily reflect those of the Police Service!
I hope that you wont be offended by anything I say, because no offence was intended.
I hope that you wont be offended by anything I say, because no offence was intended.
As Gene Hunt says
It doesn't take a degree in applied bollocks, to know what's going on...
2 comments:
Here here!!
I've been saying the same thing for years. It would work on a token basis. Each year on payment of council tax you recieve your tokens and can use them as you wish. Once they are gone you need to top them up. Of course, the police would have discretion and in the case of a genuine police requirement the token would not be taken. If we arrive and there is someone wanting us for a pile of rubbish with no tokens we simply drive away and send them the bill (ok I know they wouldn't pay but I still have to do the fine-tuning!)
I'll go for that - as someone who's made precisely no 999 calls in my life - because I've never had need to (thank God). The one time I called the police I phoned the station number - some kids spray-painting walls didn't feel like a 999-type emergency. I hate the thought that when some poor sod really, really, needs the police, they're off investigating abusive texts or some such nonsense.
I'd be in for a whopping discount!
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